03:35 pm
24 May 2017

Chick-Fil-A Changes Name to Chick-Phil-A to Honor Duck Dynasty Media Martyr

Chick-Fil-A Changes Name to Chick-Phil-A to Honor Duck Dynasty Media Martyr
Ducks and Chickens combine, but not in that way.
Ducks and Chickens combine, but not in that way.

Ducks and Chickens combine, but not in that way.

Chicken sandwich empire Chick-Fil-A has announced a major name change to Chick-Phil-A, to honor the now unemployed Duck Dynasty millionaire Phil Robertson, who made comments equating logic with penis placement. “It’s a homonym, but not a homo-nym,” said Chick-Phil-A chief operating officer Dan T. Cathy, no stranger to capitalizing on the anti-LGBT fervor of right-wingers that love chicken fingers.

The chain’s more than 1,700 restaurants will now work quickly to change logos on all marquees, pressed napkins, to-go bags, and cups while the upcoming college football Chick-Phil-A Bowl game will keep a couple of interns away from their families over Christmas in order to change the graphics, merchandise, game programs, and other minutia surrounding the upcoming ACC-SEC gridiron battle in Atlanta, GA.

In related news, Chick-Phil-A supporter Mike Huckabee is delighted with the restaurant’s devotion to the cause of cisgendered heteronormative traditions and said he was “this close” to changing his last name to “Duckabee,” but cold feet and an aversion to ordering new business cards kept the former presidential candidate from taking the plunge.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload the CAPTCHA.