05:56 pm
17 February 2018

AWKWARD!: Satan, Prince of Darkness, Shows Up to 184th Annual General Conference

AWKWARD!: Satan, Prince of Darkness, Shows Up to 184th Annual General Conference
The Devil manifesting his favor at the 184th Annual General Conference.

AWKWARD! – By many accounts today, Satan, the Son of the Morning, is not just the notorious Ruler of Hell: He’s also a party crasher.

A suited Satan sauntered into the conference center to hear the words of the prophet, apostles and general authorities, along with the other some 21,000-plus Mormons in attendance.

“Holy cow, so awkward!” said Jenny Young, Laurel-aged conference goer for whom this is her fifth time attending. “I like just saw him come in, I was like ‘Dad, I think that’s Lucifer!’, and he just sat like right by me… it was SO weird.”

“I looked, then did a double, triple take,” said Dallin Nelson, who says he was seated a few rows back from the Adversary. “I was sort of speechless. I thought to myself, ‘why is he here? He knows that nothing good is said about him here.’”

Indeed, true to form, the Lord’s chosen servants lambasted Satan and those who heed his will in their talks. According to Richardson Hyde, sitting next to the Tempter as this happened was unsettling.satan4

“There was one point where Elder Neil L. Andersen was saying how Satan took the cowardly route in the pre-Earth life by trying to save everyone,” said Hyde, still visibly shaken and pale. “And I casually looked over to see how he [Beelzebub] was reacting, but he just sat there emotionless, listening.”

“He did cough once, when it was quiet,” Hyde added. “That was jarring, very uncomfortable. I didn’t know the devil coughed.”

It is still unclear why the Enemy to All Righteousness decided to attend a conference in which his erstwhile pre-Earth life comrades sing the praises of his brother Jesus, with whom he has a complex and often hostile relationship with, while issuing warnings about him and his fallen angels.

Still, no one was about to bother him and ask, lest the Old Serpent snatch and take them down to his fiery pit of abomination for all eternity.

“It’s pretty brazen if you ask me,” said Nelson. “The ushers should have escorted him out. It gave me the willies to see him there.”