03:35 pm
24 May 2017

Sandy Woman’s Fears Confirmed as Michelle Obama Spotted Leading Ordain Women Protest at Conference Center

Sandy Woman’s Fears Confirmed as Michelle Obama Spotted Leading Ordain Women Protest at Conference Center
The Ordain Women movement leaders, including an invigorated FLOTUS.
The Ordain Women movement leaders, including an invigorated FLOTUS.

The Ordain Women movement leaders, including an invigorated FLOTUS.

In a surprise show of support, witnesses report Michelle Obama was among Ordain Women agitators rabble-rousing at the Conference Center Saturday evening. The protest, spurned by a fringe element of radical leftists moonlighting as committed mothers, has sent shockwaves through the local faith community.

“I always somehow knew Obama was behind this,” Sister Sorensen angrily explained as she cooked Brother Sorensen’s eggs the way he likes them, “She just lacks the class of Ann Romney. It’s truly a sad day in Utah.”

Sorensen, a counselor in the 1024th Sandy Ward Relief Society, has long been dismayed by the absent decorum of the Obama family, but found this weekend’s display especially offensive. “Actions speak louder than words and, let’s just say, hers are not very delightsome. Laura Bush always seemed so fair. If we aren’t careful, our Mia Maids will be lulled into the deceptive trap of feminism encouraged by these women heck-bent on equality.”

Local sister, Emma Stevens, shared Sorensen’s frustration over Obama’s unwanted appearance: “Every year in April I look forward to an uplifting night of shopping at City Creek and a nice night out at the Kneaders with my sisters while our husbands attend the Priesthood conference. It was so annoying to have our evening ruined by the liberal media’s illegal coverage of Ordain Women and their ringleader Obama.”

Stevens’ husband, a worthy priesthood holder, described the messy scene post-Priesthood session: “I had to give my wife a blessing of comfort. She was really worked up by the shenanigans of these hippy sisters. It’s like the 60s all over again. They might as well be burning their undergarments on the front steps of the Conference Center,” he continued, “how are we, as priesthood holders, supposed to preside over our sisters when they are under the evil influence of Lucifer?”

After the egregious political protest, Ordain Women were seen enjoying celebratory mocktails at a local Chili’s.

 

3 comments

  • This article is not correct. This article may address the concerns of some people, however this aticle was written even before the Priesthood Session of General Conference was over. Even as I write this comment, Priesthood Session is still going on. Having a man’s comment about “the messy scene post-Priesthood session” is dishonest and mesleading. As people intending to inform others of news, please make certain that what is being said is accurate and honest.

    Reply

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