05:57 pm
17 February 2018

Stephen Hawking Warns That AI Will Breed A New Mechanoid Genghis Khan

Stephen Hawking Warns That AI Will Breed A New Mechanoid Genghis Khan


Theoretical physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking has issued a firm warning about a looming threat that he believes will become a reality in the wake of artificial intelligence.

“Artificial intelligence opens a can of existential worms,” the renowned physicist said. “But first among them, I fear, is the rise of a computerized Genghis Khan who will exact on us a reign of terror unseen since the 13th century.”

“This latter-day Genghis Khan will not be Mongoloid, but mechanoid,” added Hawking.

Hawking goes on to say that this supercomputer terminator will be capable of out-computing the human brain, and thus will be able to collect data from our most violent history and surpass its most notable figures. The most logical model to mimic, says Hawking, is the most notorious conqueror and prolific genocidal misogynist known in history.

The threat, given the requisite upgraded name Gangbangus Khan by specialists, will out-invent, out-manipulate, and–owing to lessons learned from our history, Hawking warns–finally fulfill its forefather’s dream of conquering and subjugating the entire human race.


An artist’s rendering of what the mechanoid ‘Gangbangus Khan’ might look like.

“Gangbangus Khan will develop weapons we humans can’t even understand, likely in phallic form,” Hawking said. “What has been put in motion is a super-inphalligence that may not be able to be stopped.”

“We’re talking about the rise of a man who once struck fear and dread into the hearts of Eastern Europeans, a gifted ringleader who united warring tribesmen to establish the largest contiguous empire our history has ever known,” Hawking said. “This machine-of-terror will pattern itself after him, history’s most fearsome leader, responsible for the wholesale slaughter of entire civilian populations.”

“Need I say more?” Hawking added.