04:13 pm
17 December 2017

Man’s Posterity Thankful He Recorded Entire Damn Concert On iPhone For Their Enjoyment

Man’s Posterity Thankful He Recorded Entire Damn Concert On iPhone For Their Enjoyment
Photo credit/stokpic

In the year 2077, the descendants of West Valley resident, Larry Carmichael, will be thanking him for his deft iPhone recording of Def Leppard at Usana amphitheater on June 23, 2014.

“We view it at every family gathering, along with all his other goddamn recordings,” said a grownup granddaughter of the cinematographer several decades from now. “You can kind-of hear it, so that’s cool. What a winner my grandpa was, and how thoughtful of him to pass this cinematic masterpiece on to us.”

“We’ll cherish this sprawling, incoherent, barely-watchable treasure for generations,” said the man’s great grandson, speaking from years into the future.

Knowing the importance of recording this seminal concert for his progeny’s viewing pleasure was not lost on Larry. “Sure, I could have put down the phone and just watched and enjoyed the show like a normal person, but that would have been the selfish way to go,” he said. “I mean, the fruit of my loins are going to think it’s pretty cool that their begetter went to awesome hard-rock shows like this.”

Besides the thrill of listening to choppy sound and watching visuals mostly blocked by the heads of attendees in front of their forebear, Larry’s as yet unborn kin are impressed at his decision to film the concert in portrait display — a bold departure from the fuller, arguably more viewer-friendly display of landscape.

“The deliberate choice of portrait display was artistically savvy, I think,” said a future nephew of Larry’s. “He could’ve filmed in landscape so it wasn’t just a small sliver on the screen, but from what I know of him he was never one to be conventional like that.”

The forthcoming scions of Larry are even more delighted to be watching this brilliantly shot, masterfully executed theatrical experience with the added plus of Larry’s drunken hollering and shitty camera holding.

“It really helps me to understand my dad,” said Larry’s geriatric son in a year distant from now. “He didn’t want to just show us the concert. He wanted us to see him as he was — impassioned, living life to the fullest, and inebriated.”

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