05:57 am
29 March 2024

“Spring Has Sprung,” Says Man Who Is Dying Inside

“Spring Has Sprung,” Says Man Who Is Dying Inside

Local Ogden inhabitant Dennis Frisbee proclaimed that “spring has sprung,” just before he entered his shabby 89’ Honda Civic and headed off to a job that is eating away at his soul.

“I love this weather, and this time of year,” said the would-be optimist, as his hours of toiling away late on myriad Excel sheets once again not only went unnoticed by his supervisor, but criticized, and again going without a modicum of gratitude for what he feels is good work.

“The apple blossoms look beautiful,” thought the repressed, emotionally stunted thirty-two year old, as he ate a silent dinner with his girlfriend, a stagnant and unmeaningful relationship now bereft of any passion and even marked with mild resentment.

The next day as it began to rain, the man who lives continually in quiet desperation uttered, “April showers bring May flowers,” which nice platitudinal bromide gave him a brief moment of respite and solace from the terror of existence that, like the ominous clouds above him, encircled him not infrequently and in which he found himself woefully ensconced.

At press time, as popcorn popped on the apricot trees, the only thing popping inside of our tragic figure was an overwhelming sense of ennui.