04:21 am
18 January 2018

Darth Vader, Who Is Dead, Baptized

Darth Vader, Who Is Dead, Baptized

In a solemn ceremony performed at the Salt Lake City Temple on Monday, 12-year-old Kyle Whiteler was baptized by proxy for and on behalf of Anakin Skywalker, who is dead.

“I feel good knowing that whatever sins he committed during his life—blowing up Alderaan, cutting off Luke’s hand—Darth Vader will have the opportunity to accept the gospel in the afterlife now,” said Whiteler.

Baptisms for the dead, an important facet of the LDS faith, have been performed on behalf of Vlad the Impaler, Adolf Hitler, Mickey Mouse and Anne Frank, to name a few, but Monday’s baptism was especially relevant here at the Salt Lake City Temple.

“Oh we flipping love Star Wars, yeah,” said Salt Lake City Temple President Cecil O. Samuelson, “so helping to ensure that the blessings of baptism are available to Anakin Skywalker—if he chooses to accept them—is truly a great thing.”

Two Utah movie theaters landed in the top 10 nationwide for The Force Awakens ticket sales and LDS faithful are more committed than ever to ensure their favorite Star Warriors will be able to enjoy the blessings of baptism, temple marriage, and other sacred ordinances performed in the temple.

“Everyone thinks of Yoda, Darth Vader, and Qui-Gon Jinn when performing ordinances, of course, but let’s remember that the events of Star Wars all occurred a long time ago, so a marriage sealing for Han and Leia is just as important as the ordinances we perform for those who we all think of as being dead. Han and Leia are probably dead by now too, sadly,” added one Temple-goer.

At press time, Mormons were wondering how far a galaxy far far away is from Kolob.