04:16 am
18 January 2018

Primary Kids Aghast After Gary Johnson’s “What Is A LEGO?” Gaffe

Primary Kids Aghast After Gary Johnson’s “What Is A LEGO?” Gaffe

Snotty-nosed Primary-going rapscallions were left aghast after hearing Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson ask “What is a LEGO?” on a recent interview on MSNBC.

“It wasn’t even a gotcha question, geeze,” said Brian Schmidt, a uniform-clad proud Webelos Scout. “What a freaking moron. Hasn’t he stepped on one at least once? Heck, I’ve even swallowed a brick or two myself. Everyone in Primary–except that weird Connor kid–thinks Gary Johnson is a doofus with a capital D.”  

Johnson later explained in a statement that he “was thinking about an acronym, not what Brand Finance called ‘the world’s most powerful brand.’”

“Stop making excuses, weirdo,” said Allison Hibler, who, yuck, is NOT the girlfriend of Brian Schmidt. “I only have the Harry Potter LEGO set, but gosh, at least I know what the dumb toys are. Also, my mom says Libertarians are Slytherin.”

MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” host Joe Scarborough pressed Johnson on his mind lapse, “LEGOs are central to a lot of people’s childhood across the planet. You asked ‘What is a LEGO?’ Do you really think that the interlocking colorful plastic construction bricks are so insignificant that somebody running for president of the United States shouldn’t even know what a LEGO is, where LEGOs are, why LEGOs are so important?”

Johnson insisted in his statement that he did understand the significance of a LEGO. “Can I name every developed LEGO subculture? No,” he said. “Should I have identified a LEGO? Yes.”

“At least this dingus has an excuse for when he loses big time in the election,” said Brian Schmidt, who laughed along with Allison Hibler as they both downed Capri Suns with practiced precision.