08:43 pm
17 January 2018

Pussy Grabbernacle Choir Begins Telestial Outreach Tour

Pussy Grabbernacle Choir Begins Telestial Outreach Tour

In news startling the Bloggernacle on Joseph Smith’s Birthday Eve, the Pussy Grabbernacle Choir, née Mormon Tabernacle Choir, announced its Telestial Outreach Tour. They’ll be supported by opening acts Ted Nugent and Kid Rock.

The first tour stop will be at the swearing-in ceremony during the presidential inauguration at the U.S. Capitol next month in Washington, D.C. President-elect Donald Trump pulled off the coup by convincing Mitt Romney during a much -publicized recent dinner at Trump Tower, “What about those fantastic white-robed singers of yours? Dozens upon dozens of them, all singing the same song. Can you get them for me, Mittens?”

The Choir is giddy for the opportunity, “We’ll probably call our fans on this tour “Detourables. It’s a cute way to rally the masses,” said Mack Wilberg, choir director.

The outreach to those Telestial-bound is a 180-degree shift away from former leaders’ statements. Thomas S. Monson, Chairman of the Board of the Corporation of the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, once said, “Behaviors which once were considered inappropriate and immoral are now not only tolerated but also viewed by ever so many as acceptable. The moral compass of the masses has gradually shifted to an ‘almost anything goes’ position.”

MoTab will have tough gowns to fill in D.C.: Beyoncé Knowles performed at the penultimate presidential inauguration back in 2013.