Featured Posts

Erstwhile Entrepreneur Superdell Schanze Orders a Carryout Pepperoni Pizza

Superdell Schanze ordered and picked up a Big Daddy’s pizza in downtown SLC on Tuesday afternoon. The erstwhile entrepreneur briefly glanced at the menu and said “14’’ pepperoni, please, with packets of parmesan if that’d be okay.” He paid with…

FED UP: Priesthood Brethren To Protest Gender Inequality at General Women’s Meeting

Ordain Willem Movement Picks Up Steam

BRIEF: Eleven Blue-Bandana-Clad Men Demand Money Back After Leaving Downtown SLC’s The Leonardo Museum

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

BRIEF: Eleven Blue-Bandana-Clad Men Demand Money Back After Leaving Downtown SLC’s The Leonardo Museum Correspondents and witnesses tried to talk to the departed, but couldn’t get a word in before the cold-blooded strangers disappeared into the street. Bystanders claim the…

Neon Trees’ Music Comes Out As Gay

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Neon Trees, the catchy Provo, Utah-based sunny-bubblegum-neuesynth-Provonic-snowwave-frothgrind-acidwash-#tbt-nü-80s-Mormcore-aggrosynth-nonméringue-ghettosurf-pleatherboas-sadcore-techstep-etherealwave-laptronica-provopush-ziphop-maltrock quartet, revealed that their music is gay in the new issue of Rolling Stone (on stands Friday, March 28th). “I’ve always felt like our band is an open book, and yet obviously we…

Governor Herbert Proposes Multi-Level-Marketing Solution to Primary, Caucus Debate

‘GODSMOS’ Wows Silence The Hows Of Science

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

The highly-anticipated and prophesied GODSMOS series debuted its first episode and quickly replaced “how” with “wow” in the minds of millions of adherents. Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty narrated the GODSMOS episode from a gold-plated marble throne, gesticulating confidently as…

Arizona Gov. Seeks to Change State Fish to ‘Something Less Symbolically Tolerant’

Featured Posts, Politics | by Burt Thurman

PHOENIX, AZ – Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer is calling on taxpayers to foot a 1.5 million dollar bill, which would change the state fish from the Apache trout to “something less symbolically tolerant of brown people.” This morning, the Governor’s…