02:06 am

25 April 2024

General Conference

BREAKING: Moses Confirmed as Conspirator in Elder Bednar’s Parted Hair

BREAKING: Moses Confirmed as Conspirator in Elder Bednar’s Parted Hair

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Add Elder David A. Bednar’s hair to the Red Sea as Moses’ shittum-wood bucket list of things he’s parted. Biblical powerhouse prophet Moses is a frequent specter rather than heavenly spectator with regard to the latter days, and his knack…

D&D… & D&C!? – LDS Church Rolls For Initiative In New Partnership

D&D… & D&C!? – LDS Church Rolls For Initiative In New Partnership

Featured Posts, News | by Russ Stewart

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has announced a new partnership with fantasy game creators Wizards of the Coast, to bring Mormon-themed Dungeons and Dragons adventures into the hearths and homes of area…

Elder Packer to address LDS General Conference in his native Klingon

Elder Packer to address LDS General Conference in his native Klingon

Featured Posts | by Monston Chalmers

What started as a thinly veiled public relations stunt to make the Mormon church appear more welcoming has taken a turn for the intergalactic, and has given many LDS Star Trek fans some hope to cling on to. As was…

A Former Mormon’s 1st Annual Objective Response to General Conference

A Former Mormon’s 1st Annual Objective Response to General Conference

Featured Posts | by Lawrence B. Riff

Hi there, I’ve got a wonderful message that I know will improve your life. You Sheeple serve God and Mammon. I know because I was busking outside City Creek Center for a few hours. I had a gig last night,…

Heavenly Father Has a Plan for Everyone, Believe Some

Heavenly Father Has a Plan for Everyone, Believe Some

Featured Posts | by Russ Stewart

SALT LAKE CITY- -As the 184th General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints draws to a close, many of the LDS faithful are taking this chance to reflect on what has come before, and wonder about…

Sandy Woman’s Fears Confirmed as Michelle Obama Spotted Leading Ordain Women Protest at Conference Center

Sandy Woman’s Fears Confirmed as Michelle Obama Spotted Leading Ordain Women Protest at Conference Center

Politics | by Bo Lamplighter

In a surprise show of support, witnesses report Michelle Obama was among Ordain Women agitators rabble-rousing at the Conference Center Saturday evening. The protest, spurned by a fringe element of radical leftists moonlighting as committed mothers, has sent shockwaves through…

Local Gay Mormon Reportedly “Ecstatic” About Conference Celibacy Encouragement

Local Gay Mormon Reportedly “Ecstatic” About Conference Celibacy Encouragement

Featured Posts | by G. Samuel Pitts

Brother Kyler Brenn, a local gay Mormon homosexual, reportedly “can’t wait” for tonight’s Priesthood session, sources said. “I’m seriously ecstatic,” said the high school senior. “It’s always so fulfilling and empowering, to hear about how I don’t need to give…

AWKWARD!: Satan, Prince of Darkness, Shows Up to 184th Annual General Conference

AWKWARD!: Satan, Prince of Darkness, Shows Up to 184th Annual General Conference

Featured Posts, News | by Tommy Cox

AWKWARD! – By many accounts today, Satan, the Son of the Morning, is not just the notorious Ruler of Hell: He’s also a party crasher. A suited Satan sauntered into the conference center to hear the words of the prophet, apostles…