SPORTS — A tough loss on the road befell the BYU Cougars as they faced the Virginia Cavaliers in the season opener on Saturday 19-16.

A two-hour lightning and rain delay could not dissuade BYU quarterback Taysom Hill from passing right into the willing arms of Anthony Harris with what would set up an easy touchdown for the Cavaliers. “You know, it’s usually nice to be able to throw to your own team, to throw a late-game pass that sets up the definitive scoring drive and have the points added under our name on the scoreboard, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. My pass did ultimately lead a team to victory, but this time it wasn’t our team. I’m sure the fans understand.”

Cougar fans are blaming everything from the weather delay, possible sins of players on the road, to the recently-returned offensive coordinator Robert Anae, who held the OC position for BYU from 2005-2010.

Sunday’s fast and testimony meetings were identified as a twist on Anae’s year’s motivation, “Go hard, go fast and testimony” meetings as the weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth carried into LDS members’ reflective bloviations on mic stands across the nation.

The Lord was sought for comment, but He only went on the record as saying he doesn’t answer any sports-related questions and he sure as heck doesn’t answer any Hail Marys.