Vodka Samm Hopes to Achieve .342 BAC at BYU-Utah Game

According to sources, Samantha Goudie aka Vodka Samm will be coming to Provo later this month. After getting arrested at the recent Iowa-Northern Illinois football game for charging the field severely intoxicated (BAC level .341), she realized the rivalry game between BYU and Utah would be the perfect next step. “I’ve never been to Utah, but it seems like a good place to get my drank on!” Goudie said. “Those BYU fans need someone to show them how to really have a good time.” LaVell Edwards stadium is reportedly beefing up security in anticipation of her arrival, as they are unsure what effect her presence will have in the already highly-charged atmosphere. Goudie’s interest was first sparked after learning that BYU is consistently rated the soberest college in the nation. Sources were tipped off after she sent the following tweet: