Music reputation saved.

Bradley Taylor, a reportedly insecure little bitch, recently switched to “private session” in Spotify before listening to “Push,” the 1996 Matchbox Twenty hit. Taylor, known for projecting all of his self-conscious and judgmental attitudes about music onto his Spotify followers, was allegedly concerned that his reputation could take a serious hit if it was suspected that he unironically enjoyed the radio-friendly, post-grunge music of the Rob Thomas-fronted band. “Anyone who says they don’t enjoy Matchbox Twenty is full of shit,” Taylor claimed. “Unfortunately, we don’t live in a world where fans of powerful hooks and tightly written lyrics can openly enjoy a classic like “3 AM” without losing credibility as a musical tastemaker.” At press time, Taylor had returned to public listening and set Spotify to play songs from the Pitchfork 500 playlist throughout the day regardless of whether he was listening.