Author Archives

Russ Stewart

Man; legend.

Santa Stockpiling 100 Billion in Gifts, Whistleblower Elf Alleges

Take your eyes off the skies: It’s not just Santa Claus’s magical sleigh rocketing upwards, but the financial returns of a secret North Pole slush fund, according to the whistleblower complaint filed today with the International Monetary Fund. According to…

Drunk or Treat – Unfortunate Typo Creates Parking Lot Chaos

Featured Posts | by Russ Stewart

SALT LAKE CITY – It was a gruesome scene at the 2nd Annual South Salt Lake Trunk or Treat Tuesday afternoon as a typographical mistake on the advertising for the event led to tragedy. It was a collision between parents…

Utah State Legislature Parts the Veil of the “Zion Curtain”

Featured Posts | by Russ Stewart

SALT LAKE CITY — The Utah State Legislature unveiled a compromise to update and revise the so-called “Zion Curtain” law on Wednesday, putting an end to weeks of speculation as to what form the final bill would take. The long awaited…

Report: “Binge-watching” Enables Faster Transition Into Irrelevancy

LDS Church Clarifies Stance On Same-Sex Childhood Apostasy

Featured Posts | by Russ Stewart

SALT LAKE CITY – Mormon leaders spoke out this morning in an effort to explain controversial new policies, revealed last night through social media. “Families are the essence of the church,” says LDS spokesperson Emily Bennett. “They stand at the…

Area Elder Thankful His Family Forgot to List Things They’re Thankful For

Featured Posts, Latest News | by Russ Stewart

SARATOGA SPRINGS, UT – Jordan Elkner was relieved today after his family seemed to forget their yearly ritual of listing things they are thankful for before eating Thanksgiving dinner. Gathered around the table, the family offered just a standard “nourish…