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Tommy Cox

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Abundant Prayer Finally Fixes America’s Gun Problem

In the wake of what has become an epidemic of mass shootings, it has now been widely confirmed that the surfeit of prayers has, at last, fixed America’s gun problem. “We are happy to announce that we no longer need…

Christopher Walken Tapped to Give Closing Benediction

Featured Posts | by Tommy Cox

Continuing a pattern of unpredictability, the LDS Church has reached out to Hollywood in an attempt to bring a star-studded cast to the podium. For the 185th Semiannual General Conference, they have secured Christopher Walken to give the closing benediction.…

Study: Majority of Mormons Would Not Approve of a Muslim Apostle

Featured Posts | by Tommy Cox

OGDEN — In a recent study conducted by social scientists at Weber State University, researchers found that most Mormons would be ‘highly uncomfortable’ with a Muslim apostle. “It was pretty clear cut across the board,” said Ken Barson, a sociology…

#NotAllDentists Hashtag Floods Social Media In Aftermath of Cecil the Lion’s Death

Featured Posts | by Tommy Cox

Last week, dentist Walter Palmer—who placed his crosshairs on a beloved lion, Cecil—found himself in the crosshairs of worldwide social media rage for his slaying of one of nature’s most majestic creatures. All the attention on him, and the frequent…

Fun And Inspiring Youth Speaker Actually A Total Wreck

Featured Posts | by Tommy Cox

Utah youth speaker megastar Brad Blythe, famous for his delightful, funny, and spiritually motivating speeches to the youth of the Mormon Church, is reportedly in fact a total wreck. Numerous anecdotal reports have surfaced that indicate Blythe, underneath the impassioned…

Local Man Not So Much Patriotic, Just Enjoys Watching Cool Shit Explode

Featured Posts | by Tommy Cox

Taylorsville resident Terrence Meyers admits he’s not exactly bouncing on Uncle Sam’s knee or brimming with enthusiasm for the red, white, and blue. “Yeah, America’s cool,” Meyers said. “I was born here, I’ll probably die here. And we’re the greatest…

“Keep BYU Peculiar” T-Shirt Sales Skyrocket In Response to Honor Code Protests

Featured Posts, Latest News | by Tommy Cox

In response to recent attempts to make Brigham Young University more accommodating to students whose views on the Mormon religion change during college, a counter-protest has emerged under the banner ‘Keep BYU Peculiar’—an effort to keep the Lord’s University just the…

“Spring Has Sprung,” Says Man Who Is Dying Inside

Featured Posts, Latest News, News | by Tommy Cox

Local Ogden inhabitant Dennis Frisbee proclaimed that “spring has sprung,” just before he entered his shabby 89’ Honda Civic and headed off to a job that is eating away at his soul. “I love this weather, and this time of…