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Tommy Cox

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AWKWARD!: Satan, Prince of Darkness, Shows Up to 184th Annual General Conference

AWKWARD! – By many accounts today, Satan, the Son of the Morning, is not just the notorious Ruler of Hell: He’s also a party crasher. A suited Satan sauntered into the conference center to hear the words of the prophet, apostles…

“Got ya!”: Prankster Putin Withdraws Troops From Crimea

Featured Posts, News | by Tommy Cox

Claiming he was just ‘Putin one over us,’ the Kremlin announced today that Russian troops will begin withdrawing from Crimea, since the elaborate April Fools joke has run its course. “Our leader has a great sense of humor, and so…

Santa Once Again Brings Neighborhood’s Rich Prick More Gifts Than Good Kid

News | by Tommy Cox

West Jordan — It’s been confirmed by various sources that Santa Claus, international purveyor of joy, has once again shortchanged Arthur Jarvis, despite another year of being a good kid, while also once again lavishing his rich, dickwad neighbor, Austin…

Governor Herbert Calls Judicial Ruling On Same-Sex Marriage “Really Gay”

Featured Posts, News, Politics | by Tommy Cox

After the surprising announcement that US District Judge Robert Shelby struck down Utah’s amendment banning same-sex marriage in Utah, Gary Herbert wasted no time airing his and what he says are many other Utahns grievances from the bully pulpit.

Church Leadership: “Women Can Come to Priesthood, But Not IHOP Afterwards”

Featured Posts, News | by Tommy Cox

Progressive latter-day saint women seem to have scored a victory, as exasperated Church leadership has announced they will allow women to attend the priesthood session. But there is one caveat. “Women are now allowed to come to priesthood,” said a…

“Not Enough Loose Ends,” Say Frustrated ‘Breaking Bad’ Fans

Featured Posts, News | by Tommy Cox

In a blatant display of what might be termed good traditional storytelling, the finale for the TV series ‘Breaking Bad’ has frustrated fans who were hoping to be frustrated by an ending that lacked resolution. “I was just hoping for…

Roommate’s Turn to Buy Toilet Paper; ‘Like Hell It Is,’ Says Other Roommate

Featured Posts, News | by Tommy Cox

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Before the two moved in together, Gerald Webb and Eric White had a friendship onlookers described as charming. But lately, it is Charmin that has been a wedge in their relationship. Allegedly, White has not…

Twelve Years Later, Americans Still Remember How 9/11 Tragically Delayed Movie Releases

Featured Posts, News | by Tommy Cox

There is no doubt that the events of 9/11 are forever etched in our country’s memory: it led not only to a tragic loss of life, but also lasting changes on our culture, foreign policy, and the way we view…