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28 April 2024

Featured Posts

Elder Holland Furious Over Apostate Flapdoodles

Elder Holland Furious Over Apostate Flapdoodles

Featured Posts | by Mahonri Smith

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland recently addressed a group of young adults in Tempe, AZ, to speak out on what he sees as an alarming trend among Mormon singles. “This may not be a very good word for an apostle to…

LDS Leaders Praise ‘Trash’ Video as “Sure Sign of Tyler Glenn Nailing It”

LDS Leaders Praise ‘Trash’ Video as “Sure Sign of Tyler Glenn Nailing It”

Featured Posts | by G. Samuel Pitts

Noting that the Neon Trees—Provo’s Mormon-rich musical sensation—”[hadn’t] really done all that much [for us]” since 2014, LDS leaders were thrilled with the solo release “Trash” from gay-but-definitely-celibate frontman Tyler Glenn. “Finally—our leading gay rockstar who couldn’t be a happier and…

Mormons Buy Jamesthemormon’s Gospel Rap Album Instead Of Porn For A Day

Mormons Buy Jamesthemormon’s Gospel Rap Album Instead Of Porn For A Day

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

LDS faithful across the nation, apparently and surprisingly willing to listen to something that isn’t Lemonade, paused their chosen pornography subscriptions for one day and flocked to iTunes to buy the new EP “I’m Not A Rapper” by Jamesthemormon. Whether…

Hipster Mormon Chomping At Bit To Do Prince’s Temple Work

Hipster Mormon Chomping At Bit To Do Prince’s Temple Work

Featured Posts | by Detlef Goethe Zern

Local progressive Mormon Kyle Rogers Nelson was saddened to hear legendary musician Prince passed on earlier today while Nelson was working at his startup company. Hoping to hear an angelic Revolution backing his revered hero in the afterlife, he decided…

Local Nonprofit ‘NonProphet’ Pushes For Wife of Gordon B. Hinckley on $20 Bill

Local Nonprofit ‘NonProphet’ Pushes For Wife of Gordon B. Hinckley on $20 Bill

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

As US Treasury Secretary Jack Lew prepares his announcement that a woman will replace imperialist dolt Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill, a local nonprofit, ‘NonProphet,’ is making a last-minute push for the late Gordon B. Hinckley’s wife to…

LDS Church Endorses Ted Cruz, Citing “Historic Dildo Policy”

LDS Church Endorses Ted Cruz, Citing “Historic Dildo Policy”

Featured Posts | by G. Samuel Pitts

SALT LAKE CITY—In a historic move on Friday—not heretofore seen in this dispensation—the LDS church officially endorsed a Presidential candidate. The official statement released by the office of the First Presidency declared Texas Sen. Ted Cruz (R) to be the…

Gov. Herbert Signs Bill Forcing Doctors To Ask A Fetus If They Prefer Breastfed Milk Or Formula

Gov. Herbert Signs Bill Forcing Doctors To Ask A Fetus If They Prefer Breastfed Milk Or Formula

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Gov. Gary Herbert just signed a law that will require doctors to ignore best medical practice and ask a fetus whether they prefer breastfed milk or formula. This appears to be the second step—after mandating that women be given unnecessary…

Genealogists Conclude Woman Not Related To Anyone Famous Or Interesting

Genealogists Conclude Woman Not Related To Anyone Famous Or Interesting

Featured Posts | by JerLin Day

Faced with a grandchild’s school family history project for the third time in as many years, Muriel Hagen Jones hired two professional genealogists in a desperate attempt to identify a famous relative. In an interview Monday, just after opening the…

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