Church

Court: Miss Riverton Way Too Pretty to be Accountable for Actions

News, Opinion, Politics | by Meriwether Clark

Echoing dismayed cries and internet comments around the state, the courts have ruled that Kendra Gill is just a silly girl and therefore cannot be held accountable for endangering the lives and limbs of others when she threw bottle bombs…

Utah Leaders Lament Inevitable Google Fiber-Induced Porn Torrent

Featured Posts, News | by G. Samuel Pitts

Google’s plans to bring Internet speeds hardly known to most of planet Earth to Salt Lake City have many local bishops on edge. “We’ve sent requests to the General Authorities, asking for at least a 3rd councilor. Heck, maybe even…

Miley Cyrus Totally Not Acting Like a Mormon, Say Mormons

Featured Posts, News | by Timothy McFoster

Miley Cyrus—not yet a Mormon since she has not passed on—has once again been caught not acting like a Mormon, said various Mormon sources. Flabbergasted and willing to opine, legions of Latter-day Saints bemoaned the “yucky” change that the former…

American Fork East 17th Ward Does Not Watch Porn

Featured Posts, News | by Timothy McFoster

A handful of problems were laid to rest as it was confirmed in-wardhouse that the American Fork East 17th Ward does not watch pornography. Not a single admission of emission from the inconspicuously non-concupiscent congregation. It’s stroke of relief to…