featured

Karl Malone Still Loves His Parade Every 24th of July For Karl Malone’s Birthday

Featured Posts, Sports | by Timothy McFoster

Former Utah Jazz icon and Laker Legend Karl “The Mailman” Malone said he still gets giddy every 24th of July when the Beehive State celebrates his birthday with a parade. “Karl Malone love this state. Karl love the crystal lakes…

HIGH, ON THE MOUNTAINTOP: A Reading From Chapter 4, Verse 20

LDS Church and Costco Buy Back Historic Ohio Temple

Utah Jazz Get Back to Basics; Draft Biggest Damn Lerp They Can Find

Featured Posts, Sports | by Monston Chalmers

With Thursday’s NBA Draft approaching, anxious Utah Jazz fans waiting to see how head coach Quin Snyder will rebuild the once-great franchise finally have some answers. “This past season’s performance has put us in a position to really get back…

Tooele Residents Demand to Change ‘Black Friday’ to ‘White Friday’

Opinion, Politics | by Timothy McFoster

A contingent of vocal Tooele residents expressed a firm desire to change the name of the shopping orgy known as the popularly-designated ‘Black Friday’ to a name they claim is “safer” to them: ‘White Friday.’ “I mean, why do they…

WHAT SAITH THE LORD NOW?- Wikileaks Forces Pull of New Revelation at General Conference

Rep. Jason Chaffetz Legally Changes Last Name To Benghazi

Politics | by Timothy McFoster

On the anniversary of the attack on the diplomatic facility located in Benghazi, Libya, congressman Jason Chaffetz (UT-3) decided to legally change his last name to Benghazi. “How else will this administration listen? I have so much to say about this!”…

Utah Leaders Lament Inevitable Google Fiber-Induced Porn Torrent

Featured Posts, News | by G. Samuel Pitts

Google’s plans to bring Internet speeds hardly known to most of planet Earth to Salt Lake City have many local bishops on edge. “We’ve sent requests to the General Authorities, asking for at least a 3rd councilor. Heck, maybe even…