heavenly father

God Has Awkward Encounter With Both Men He Endorsed For President

Reports out of the Johnson household state that young Shad, avowed legomaniac, uttered “we thank thee for the Prophet Jaden Smith” rather than Joseph Smith during the Johnson’s diurnal 8:55pm prayer without any sort of snicker or self-acknowledged in-prayer correction…

Holy Ghost Retires After ‘Prompted’ Imbeciles Topple Goblin Valley Rock

News | by Timothy McFoster

In an early evening appearance since He goes to bed at midnight, the Holy Ghost formally announced His retirement on Friday. This came in the wake of an imbecilic claim from three Utah Boy Scout leaders that they were prompted…

[Audio] Woman Escorted Out During Shutdown Vote in House Chamber Actually Most Cogent Person There

News, Politics | by Timothy McFoster

[Audio] Woman Escorted Out During Shutdown Vote in House Chamber Actually Most Cogent Person There https://t.co/KAh62hfgeQ #shutdown — Beehive Bugle (@Beehive_Bugle) October 17, 2013 [Audio] Woman Escorted Out During Shutdown Vote in House Chamber Actually Most Cogent Person…

Conference Fans Increasingly Worried that Conference is Almost Over Already

News | by G. Samuel Pitts

Salt Lake City- As this year’s historic, 184th Annual General Conference wears on, many members of the faith find themselves with an increasing sense of dread, as at some point, the twice yearly miracle must always end. “It’s like it…