LDS Church

Sorry Everyone, I Meant Morons. Don’t Call Us Morons

By Pres. Russell M. Nelson My bad, my beloved brothers and sisters. I know I said not to call us Mormons, but what I meant was not to call us morons. Slip of the tongue. It’d be moronic to jettison…

Unopened Envelope Ushers in Schrödehlin’s Cat Paradox

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

A living man is placed across from Temple Square along with an unopened envelope, a camera, a vial of testimony, and a very small amount of radioactive Reddit posts. If even a single upvote of the Reddit post resonates during…

The LDS Church Issues New Name Guidelines, Appends ‘is True’ to Book of Mormon in All Uses

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

SALT LAKE CITY — Pres. Russell M. Nelson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued the following statement Thursday afternoon regarding the name of the restored Church of Jesus Christ’s scripture: “The Lord has impressed upon my…

Holland and Uchtdorf Satiate in First Session, No More Talks Needed

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Thousands of relieved General Conference viewers are calling the weekend “as good as done” after Elders Holland and Uchtdorf finished their respective talks in the first session of the 187th Semiannual General Conference. “That stud Elder Holland quoted Tolstoy, which…

Monson Eschews Prophetic Duties To Cheer On Apostate Facebook Drama

“Mr. Herbert, Tear Down This Curtain!” Proclaims An Emboldened Senator Dabakis

Utah State Legislature Parts the Veil of the “Zion Curtain”

Pussy Grabbernacle Choir Begins Telestial Outreach Tour

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

In news startling the Bloggernacle on Joseph Smith’s Birthday Eve, the Pussy Grabbernacle Choir, née Mormon Tabernacle Choir, announced its Telestial Outreach Tour. They’ll be supported by opening acts Ted Nugent and Kid Rock. The first tour stop will be at…