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21 November 2024

LDS Church

LDS Church Loses Faith In Jeremy Runnells After Reading CES Letter

LDS Church Loses Faith In Jeremy Runnells After Reading CES Letter

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

After lifelong devotion to the man, the LDS Church finally lost faith in Jeremy Runnells after reading the CES Letter, which Runnells penned. “The CES Letter was finally what did it for us. We’d held out hope for so long,…

Leaked Emails: Pres. Monson “Harkens Unto” Bernie Sanders’ Message

Leaked Emails: Pres. Monson “Harkens Unto” Bernie Sanders’ Message

Featured Posts | by Sanlayn Freal

When Utah-based attorney Mark Naugle first opened the folder on his computer, he thought perhaps he might find evidence of church leaders’ private complaints about the recent spike in member resignations, or the alleged uptick in LGBTQ suicides. Or even…

Pres. Nelson: “Apostate David Bowie Headed To The Telestial Kingdom”

Pres. Nelson: “Apostate David Bowie Headed To The Telestial Kingdom”

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints clarified its stance and will make no changes with regard to the late David Bowie, that he would henceforth be labeled an “apostate” and would not be baptized after his death. Pres.…

2015 – The Full Rear View

2015 – The Full Rear View

It's the end of 2015, and the bugle boys are back to tell you how it all went down.

LDS Church Clarifies Stance On Same-Sex Childhood Apostasy

LDS Church Clarifies Stance On Same-Sex Childhood Apostasy

Featured Posts | by Russ Stewart

SALT LAKE CITY – Mormon leaders spoke out this morning in an effort to explain controversial new policies, revealed last night through social media. “Families are the essence of the church,” says LDS spokesperson Emily Bennett. “They stand at the…

Morally Bankrupt LDS Church Acts On Anti Same-Sex Thoughts

Morally Bankrupt LDS Church Acts On Anti Same-Sex Thoughts

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

In an unequivocal moral slippage, the LDS Church acted out on its anti-same-sex thoughts and announced a policy with regard to membership denial to children living in a same-sex home. Despite humming an Elder Uchtdorf talk to themselves, the urge…

Christopher Walken Tapped to Give Closing Benediction

Christopher Walken Tapped to Give Closing Benediction

Featured Posts | by Tommy Cox

Continuing a pattern of unpredictability, the LDS Church has reached out to Hollywood in an attempt to bring a star-studded cast to the podium. For the 185th Semiannual General Conference, they have secured Christopher Walken to give the closing benediction.…

White Men Finally Receive Representation in Mormon Church

White Men Finally Receive Representation in Mormon Church

Featured Posts | by Bo Lamplighter

In a daring move, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced today a radical organizational shift that will ensure successful white, male members over the age of 40 finally gain proper representation. The organization, long known for its…

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