02:16 am

27 April 2024

Morality

Pussy Grabbernacle Choir Begins Telestial Outreach Tour

Pussy Grabbernacle Choir Begins Telestial Outreach Tour

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

In news startling the Bloggernacle on Joseph Smith’s Birthday Eve, the Pussy Grabbernacle Choir, née Mormon Tabernacle Choir, announced its Telestial Outreach Tour. They’ll be supported by opening acts Ted Nugent and Kid Rock. The first tour stop will be at…

Those Piece of Mother Won The VidAngel Lawsuit, It

Those Piece of Mother Won The VidAngel Lawsuit, It

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

The safe-space Hollywood elites won their mother copyright infringement claim after the sons of took VidAngel to court. The -gobbling legal teams from Disney, 20th Century Fox, and Warner Bros. can my throbbing since the ruling enjoins VidAngel from its…

London Temple Visitor’s Center Announces All-Gender Water Closet

London Temple Visitor’s Center Announces All-Gender Water Closet

Featured Posts | by Mahonri Smith

In a move to further distance themselves culturally from the Utah-centric politicization of the LDS Church, the London Temple Visitor’s Center announced plans to open an all-gender water closet to serve those who visit the temple grounds. “The temple is…

Mormons Buy Jamesthemormon’s Gospel Rap Album Instead Of Porn For A Day

Mormons Buy Jamesthemormon’s Gospel Rap Album Instead Of Porn For A Day

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

LDS faithful across the nation, apparently and surprisingly willing to listen to something that isn’t Lemonade, paused their chosen pornography subscriptions for one day and flocked to iTunes to buy the new EP “I’m Not A Rapper” by Jamesthemormon. Whether…

Hipster Mormon Chomping At Bit To Do Prince’s Temple Work

Hipster Mormon Chomping At Bit To Do Prince’s Temple Work

Featured Posts | by Detlef Goethe Zern

Local progressive Mormon Kyle Rogers Nelson was saddened to hear legendary musician Prince passed on earlier today while Nelson was working at his startup company. Hoping to hear an angelic Revolution backing his revered hero in the afterlife, he decided…

LDS Church Endorses Ted Cruz, Citing “Historic Dildo Policy”

LDS Church Endorses Ted Cruz, Citing “Historic Dildo Policy”

Featured Posts | by G. Samuel Pitts

SALT LAKE CITY—In a historic move on Friday—not heretofore seen in this dispensation—the LDS church officially endorsed a Presidential candidate. The official statement released by the office of the First Presidency declared Texas Sen. Ted Cruz (R) to be the…

BusTED: Utahns For Cruz: “We’ve Loved Covered-Up Sex Scandals Since The 1830s”

BusTED: Utahns For Cruz: “We’ve Loved Covered-Up Sex Scandals Since The 1830s”

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Utah’s desired GOP nominee, Sen. Ted ‘the Zodiac Killer’ Cruz, nearly found himself in hot water when the National Enquirer released a story purporting evidence that he cheaTED on his wife with as many as five women. Most Utahn Cruz…

Three-Year-Old Christian Gives Zero Shits About Syrian Refugees

Three-Year-Old Christian Gives Zero Shits About Syrian Refugees

Featured Posts | by G. Samuel Pitts

RIVERTON, UT—Citing disappointment in their three-year-old’s attitude of utter indifference to the plight of Syrian refugees, the parents of Todd Finster have lost all faith in the child. “I never dreamed that a three-year-old could be so irrational,” said Brent…

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