03:50 am

30 April 2024

Mormon

A Former Mormon’s 1st Semiannual Objective Response to General Conference

A Former Mormon’s 1st Semiannual Objective Response to General Conference

Featured Posts, News | by Lawrence B. Riff

The Riffster here, folks. You’ll all be glad to know I have more insight to bequeath unto you well-intended masses partaking of the opiate known as religion. Since my last epistle, I’ve read dutifully and extensively on philosophy, religion and…

Members of Ordain Women Admitted Into Priesthood Meeting for First Time, Immediately Regret it

Members of Ordain Women Admitted Into Priesthood Meeting for First Time, Immediately Regret it

Featured Posts, News | by Snorri Sturluson

For the first time in the 184 year history of the LDS Church, women were allowed to attend the traditionally male-only priesthood session — and right away just wanted to go home. “It’s a huge victory for feminism and for…

Mormon Church Gives Approval for Medical Masturbation

Mormon Church Gives Approval for Medical Masturbation

Featured Posts, News | by Ripley Wainwright

In an unprecedented move, LDS Church leaders announced during the Saturday morning session of General Conference that they had given their approval to masturbation that serves a legitimate medical need. The policy sea change comes after years of pressure from…

Young Men Increasingly Face Difficult Choice Between Mission and Cage Fighting

Young Men Increasingly Face Difficult Choice Between Mission and Cage Fighting

Featured Posts | by Gene Parmesan

In recent years, mixed martial arts fighting made popular by the UFC “Ultimate Fighting Championship” has taken off across the Wasatch front. More and more Latter-day Saints young athletes are dropping basketball in favor of the gloves and pink faux-hawk.…

Elder Packer to address LDS General Conference in his native Klingon

Elder Packer to address LDS General Conference in his native Klingon

Featured Posts | by Monston Chalmers

What started as a thinly veiled public relations stunt to make the Mormon church appear more welcoming has taken a turn for the intergalactic, and has given many LDS Star Trek fans some hope to cling on to. As was…

Thomas S. Monson Hopes to Find New Helpmeet, Joins OKCupid

Thomas S. Monson Hopes to Find New Helpmeet, Joins OKCupid

Featured Posts | by Detlef Goethe Zern

Thomas Spencer Monson, the prophet, seer, and revelator for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is once again dusting off his lapels and going on the prowl. “It is true, Mr. Monson is seeking another eternal companion, given…

Salt Lake City Airport Gears Up for Return of 2012 Missionaries with Divine Construction

Salt Lake City Airport Gears Up for Return of 2012 Missionaries with Divine Construction

Featured Posts | by Olivia Silverspoke

Salt Lake City International Airport has, shrewdly, decided to be proactive and prepare for the new surge of 2012 missionaries returning this year after the announcement of the lowered missionary age requirements. “The number of missionaries in the field has…

43-Year-Old Saratoga Springs Mother Of Six Admits To Never Having An Orgasm

43-Year-Old Saratoga Springs Mother Of Six Admits To Never Having An Orgasm

Featured Posts | by Ruth R. McConkie

Kathy Jensen, Utah native and Saratoga Springs Mother of the Year nominee, broke down on stage last night at the Mother of the Year Awards, declaring that she’s “never had an orgasm.” She then pointed to the woman next to…