Obama

[Audio] Woman Escorted Out During Shutdown Vote in House Chamber Actually Most Cogent Person There

[Audio] Woman Escorted Out During Shutdown Vote in House Chamber Actually Most Cogent Person There https://t.co/KAh62hfgeQ #shutdown — Beehive Bugle (@Beehive_Bugle) October 17, 2013 [Audio] Woman Escorted Out During Shutdown Vote in House Chamber Actually Most Cogent Person…

“My Time is NOW” Declaims Disheveled, Shotgun-Wielding Man

News, Opinion, Politics | by Chester Strongfield

Mona, UT – Vocal Mona resident Burt Wight, 57, reportedly said, “The time has come, and it is now,” as he cleaned his shotgun on his porch on early Wednesday. “Don’t you get it? With this government shutdown, I reckon…

Sen. Mike Lee: My Mother’s Demands Are Unconstitutional; I Will Defund MamaCare

News, Politics | by Timothy McFoster

Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) came out strongly against his mother’s demands, citing them as unconstitutional and said he had no choice but to defund MamaCare. “She’s a real stick in the spokes sometimes, leaving stickers in my lunch and such.…

Shutdown of ‘Guvurn Mint,’ Scented Herb Distributor, Exasperates Nation

News, Politics | by Timothy McFoster

In a move of unparalleled wankdom, scented herb distributor Guvurn Mint has been shutdown. Sources say specialized interest groups spearheaded the endeavor, most particularly the firebranded Cinnamon Tea Maketriots, led by Spokesperson John Flassid and newcomer Mike Leaf. “I know…

Rep. Jason Chaffetz Legally Changes Last Name To Benghazi

Politics | by Timothy McFoster

On the anniversary of the attack on the diplomatic facility located in Benghazi, Libya, congressman Jason Chaffetz (UT-3) decided to legally change his last name to Benghazi. “How else will this administration listen? I have so much to say about this!”…

Obama Cites High Emotions During Game of Risk; Scales Back Syria Missile Strike Threats

News, Politics, Sports | by Timothy McFoster

In a stunning reversal, a flabbergasted President Obama scaled back threats of military strikes against Syria. Obama claims he wouldn’t have been so vigilant on attacking the Middle East — both the geopolitical region and the RISK territory — if…