Utah County

Dr. Kathie Allen’s Platform Announces He Won’t Run For Reelection in 2018

Dr. Kathie Allen’s Platform, the incumbent for Utah’s 3rd Congressional District, shocked the nation when it was announced he won’t run for reelection. The approval rating of Dr. Kathie Allen’s Platform has dropped 21 percent since Trump’s election, particularly after…

Swig and Sodalicious Lock Horns Over Rights to ‘Sugary Septic Swill’

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

U.S. District Court Judge Dale Kimball granted a request by the soda shop Swig to amend its lawsuit against its carbonated-defecation competitor Sodalicious in the ongoing legal battle over the use of the descriptive phrase “Sugary Septic Swill.” The lawsuit…

“Actually, Some of Our Best Players Are Colored,” Respond Orem Owlz

Featured Posts, Sports | by Detlef Goethe Zern

The Orem Owlz, Utah Valley’s minor league baseball team, has ran a’fowl’ of sensibility after its ‘Caucasian Heritage Night’ promotional event left folks across the nation ‘hootin’ and hollerin’. The Owlz ate crow after its excessively recessive event was canceled,…

Utah Shocks Nation by Electing Mormon Republican to Congress

Five Best Post-Holi-Color-Fest “Missed Connections”

Neon Trees’ Music Comes Out As Gay

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Neon Trees, the catchy Provo, Utah-based sunny-bubblegum-neuesynth-Provonic-snowwave-frothgrind-acidwash-#tbt-nü-80s-Mormcore-aggrosynth-nonméringue-ghettosurf-pleatherboas-sadcore-techstep-etherealwave-laptronica-provopush-ziphop-maltrock quartet, revealed that their music is gay in the new issue of Rolling Stone (on stands Friday, March 28th). “I’ve always felt like our band is an open book, and yet obviously we…

LEAKED: UVU’s Professional Sales Program Midterm Exam Making Rounds Online

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

OREM, UT – Utah Vivint University’s Professional Sales Program Midterm Exam Leaked It only took a few days after the announcement of the VIVINT™-funded Professional Sales Program before the pilot-program’s midterm exam was leaked to the public. The source…

Go To Tel: Hip New Lingo Allows LDS Members To Faithfully Condemn Others

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

In a move sure to rock the world of ‘heck’ advocates, the Mormon lexicon has widened to include the phrase, Go to Tel — a tender offer from those fed up to wish the recipient a chance to spend eternity…