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27 April 2024

Virginity

BusTED: Utahns For Cruz: “We’ve Loved Covered-Up Sex Scandals Since The 1830s”

BusTED: Utahns For Cruz: “We’ve Loved Covered-Up Sex Scandals Since The 1830s”

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Utah’s desired GOP nominee, Sen. Ted ‘the Zodiac Killer’ Cruz, nearly found himself in hot water when the National Enquirer released a story purporting evidence that he cheaTED on his wife with as many as five women. Most Utahn Cruz…

Local Gay Mormon Reportedly “Ecstatic” About Conference Celibacy Encouragement

Local Gay Mormon Reportedly “Ecstatic” About Conference Celibacy Encouragement

Featured Posts | by G. Samuel Pitts

Brother Kyler Brenn, a local gay Mormon homosexual, reportedly “can’t wait” for tonight’s Priesthood session, sources said. “I’m seriously ecstatic,” said the high school senior. “It’s always so fulfilling and empowering, to hear about how I don’t need to give…

HACKED: Indecent T-Shirt Story Swiped Wholesale After Beehive Bugle’s Servers Were Compromised

HACKED: Indecent T-Shirt Story Swiped Wholesale After Beehive Bugle’s Servers Were Compromised

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

HACKED: Indecent T-Shirt Story Swiped Wholesale After Beehive Bugle’s Servers Were Compromised OREM – A benignly-named pretend housewife “Judy Cox” has swept national news for purportedly buying out an entire PacSun’s t-shirt display, citing the scantily clad women on the…

TRENDSPOTTING: Modesty Wings!™ Hit Stores, Increases Worth of Women

TRENDSPOTTING: Modesty Wings!™ Hit Stores, Increases Worth of Women

Featured Posts | by Lexie Duncan

Pleasing Christ is all the rage these days, and young women across the globe are finding it increasingly difficult to find appropriate drapery in which to do so. As exposed shoulders become more acceptable in the World, young sisters in…

Roommate’s Turn to Buy Toilet Paper; ‘Like Hell It Is,’ Says Other Roommate

Roommate’s Turn to Buy Toilet Paper; ‘Like Hell It Is,’ Says Other Roommate

Featured Posts, News | by Tommy Cox

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Before the two moved in together, Gerald Webb and Eric White had a friendship onlookers described as charming. But lately, it is Charmin that has been a wedge in their relationship. Allegedly, White has not…

City Creek Center to Open Disco-themed Dance Club Called Quorum of the ‘70s

Featured Posts | by Monston Chalmers

In a move considered bold by many, City Creek Center has announced plans for a sprawling multilevel discotheque nightclub with a family friendly twist. At a press conference held earlier this morning Gary Stevenson, presiding bishop of The Church of…

LDS Church Ecstatic after SLC Comic Con Brings Spirit of Celibacy to Thousands

LDS Church Ecstatic after SLC Comic Con Brings Spirit of Celibacy to Thousands

News | by Russ Stewart

SALT LAKE CITY, UT– Leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were thrilled Monday to learn that their years of emphasizing social sexlessness had finally paid off. SLC Comic Con 2013 brought a record-breaking 80,000 devoted celibates…