Totally Awesome Pizza

Superdell Schanze ordered and picked up a Big Daddy’s pizza in downtown SLC on Tuesday afternoon.

The erstwhile entrepreneur briefly glanced at the menu and said “14’’ pepperoni, please, with packets of parmesan if that’d be okay.” He paid with a twenty dollar bill, and returned all his change into the tip jar while subtly winking at the cashier.

The former owner of Totally Awesome Computers then fed two quarters into the toy machine to obtain a green, sticky-gel elastic hand. “My boy loves these things,” he said to the Beehive Bugle staffers in line behind him.

Schanze–with pocketed hands–then waited for his order, lightly whistled the Andy Griffith theme song, and rocked back and forth from heel to the ball of his feet on newly-acquired or recently cleaned New Balance sneakers. Whether the whistling was his prerogative or in response to our ordering an 18’’ “Barney Fife” pizza–a mouthwatering marvel of homemade white garlic sauce, chicken, fresh tomato, onion and mozzarella cheese–we will never know.

As the powered paragliding enthusiast was handed his order, he said, “Thank you kindly, Walter. You have a splendid day now, ya hear?” He smiled, then departed. After he used his back to open the door, he left toward Trolley Square, where witnesses said he picked up his wife after she’d purchased a truly extraordinary, restock-the-shelves amount of vanilla-scented candles.

“Nice guy.” “Uh, sure.” the Bugle observed.