The past decade has been seismic for the Church of Scientology as high-profile members have left, critical media has been created and disseminated, and some post-Scientologists have leveraged their infamy to shine light on what they see as harmful association with the church. Now, for a reasonable market rate, those formerly brainwashed who have left the church without meeting Scientologist Tom Cruise can now set sail on a post-Scientology cruise!

The Freeminds Cruise Ship is the vessel of choice for all progressive post-Scientologists. Attendees can expect to mingle and rub shoulders with Don Philman, whose decade-long podcast, Scientology Stories has been a haven for transitioning Scientology members. Fans and foes alike use the nickname “L. Don Hubbub” for the humble podcaster. Philman is on the record having said, “the nickname doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve never lost any sleep over it, and I’ve certainly never online stalked and burned down anyone who uses it with ill intent. I’ve got super thick skin.”

The cruise follows a similar route — to and around the Bahamas — taken by A-List Scientologists that is manned by contracted members of the SeaOrg. Audio clips from Don Philman’s most popular podcast episodes will play on a loop throughout the ship’s three levels. Cruisers can anticipate to hang out with Don and other Scientology Stories listeners, spend the day at the beach, participate in optional excursions to local tourist traps, and/or attend Don’s highly rated Scientology Transitions seminar — all while enjoying amazing food and soaking up the sun.

“It’s totally different than those indoctrinated Scientologists. For instance, we’re not calling it SeaOrg. We’re calling it SeenOrg. Because we’ve “Seen” the  Scientology “Org” for what it truly is. Get it?”

Described by Philman as “a post-religious retreat ministering the most advanced level of progressive counseling for those who have left or are questioning the Scientology religion,” attendees can receive a discount if they sign a billion-hour podcast listening contract. “It’s easy to think of it as one way to get your tithes back,” said Philman.