11:37 pm

06 November 2024

Morality

“Dog Had It Coming:” SLC Cop and Novice Resident Evil Player Finally Exacts Revenge

“Dog Had It Coming:” SLC Cop and Novice Resident Evil Player Finally Exacts Revenge

Featured Posts | by Detlef Goethe Zern

As far as one SLC police officer was concerned, Geist, a local Weinanamer, was a t-virus infected marauding zombie beast that had to be destroyed. “I saw the dog making movement toward me, and I thought, I don’t have dog…

Local Boy Finds Shocking Items at DI, Mother Takes Action

Local Boy Finds Shocking Items at DI, Mother Takes Action

Featured Posts | by Olivia Silverspoke

Respectable Sugar House youth, Timmy Ross, came home Tuesday afternoon from the 2100 S. Deseret Industries with a bag full of what his mother calls, “Devil-worshipping garbage”, including a 1997 issue of Victoria’s Secret and cake pans with penis-shaped molds.…

A Former Mormon’s 1st Annual Objective Response to General Conference

A Former Mormon’s 1st Annual Objective Response to General Conference

Featured Posts | by Lawrence B. Riff

Hi there, I’ve got a wonderful message that I know will improve your life. You Sheeple serve God and Mammon. I know because I was busking outside City Creek Center for a few hours. I had a gig last night,…

Heavenly Father Has a Plan for Everyone, Believe Some

Heavenly Father Has a Plan for Everyone, Believe Some

Featured Posts | by Russ Stewart

SALT LAKE CITY- -As the 184th General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints draws to a close, many of the LDS faithful are taking this chance to reflect on what has come before, and wonder about…

Local Gay Mormon Reportedly “Ecstatic” About Conference Celibacy Encouragement

Local Gay Mormon Reportedly “Ecstatic” About Conference Celibacy Encouragement

Featured Posts | by G. Samuel Pitts

Brother Kyler Brenn, a local gay Mormon homosexual, reportedly “can’t wait” for tonight’s Priesthood session, sources said. “I’m seriously ecstatic,” said the high school senior. “It’s always so fulfilling and empowering, to hear about how I don’t need to give…

Neon Trees’ Music Comes Out As Gay

Neon Trees’ Music Comes Out As Gay

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Neon Trees, the catchy Provo, Utah-based sunny-bubblegum-neuesynth-Provonic-snowwave-frothgrind-acidwash-#tbt-nü-80s-Mormcore-aggrosynth-nonméringue-ghettosurf-pleatherboas-sadcore-techstep-etherealwave-laptronica-provopush-ziphop-maltrock quartet, revealed that their music is gay in the new issue of Rolling Stone (on stands Friday, March 28th). “I’ve always felt like our band is an open book, and yet obviously we…

Arizona Gov. Seeks to Change State Fish to ‘Something Less Symbolically Tolerant’

Arizona Gov. Seeks to Change State Fish to ‘Something Less Symbolically Tolerant’

Featured Posts, Politics | by Burt Thurman

PHOENIX, AZ – Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer is calling on taxpayers to foot a 1.5 million dollar bill, which would change the state fish from the Apache trout to “something less symbolically tolerant of brown people.” This morning, the Governor’s…

HACKED: Indecent T-Shirt Story Swiped Wholesale After Beehive Bugle’s Servers Were Compromised

HACKED: Indecent T-Shirt Story Swiped Wholesale After Beehive Bugle’s Servers Were Compromised

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

HACKED: Indecent T-Shirt Story Swiped Wholesale After Beehive Bugle’s Servers Were Compromised OREM – A benignly-named pretend housewife “Judy Cox” has swept national news for purportedly buying out an entire PacSun’s t-shirt display, citing the scantily clad women on the…