Morality

Local Instagram Fitness Hero Found to be Fat-assed Charlatan

Today it was revealed that a local Utah man notorious for his impeccable taste in music, movies, food, and a penchant for running marathons is in fact, a fat-assed charlatan. Kerouac69 — who has eclipsed 2,000 followers on Instagram yet…

Conference Fans Increasingly Worried that Conference is Almost Over Already

News | by G. Samuel Pitts

Salt Lake City- As this year’s historic, 184th Annual General Conference wears on, many members of the faith find themselves with an increasing sense of dread, as at some point, the twice yearly miracle must always end. “It’s like it…

Pres. Boyd K. Packer: The Prophet Ought To Live Life To The Fullest

News | by Timothy McFoster

Pres. Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles displayed a chipper tone throughout his imperative remarks at the 183rd Semiannual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He advised that the “Living Prophet…

Roommate’s Turn to Buy Toilet Paper; ‘Like Hell It Is,’ Says Other Roommate

Utah Football Players Exhorted by BYU Fans To Be Immediately Immersed in Water in Response To Abhorrent Immersed in Water Incident

Sports | by Timothy McFoster

Rivalry week activated the modestly-covered thin skin of BYU fans after a video surfaced of University of Utah football players immersing one another into contained areas of water. BYU fans ignited with righteous indignation and demanded the players repent of…