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21 December 2024

Mormon

Sorry Everyone, I Meant Morons. Don’t Call Us Morons

Sorry Everyone, I Meant Morons. Don’t Call Us Morons

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

By Pres. Russell M. Nelson My bad, my beloved brothers and sisters. I know I said not to call us Mormons, but what I meant was not to call us morons. Slip of the tongue. It’d be moronic to jettison…

Mormons Buy Jamesthemormon’s Gospel Rap Album Instead Of Porn For A Day

Mormons Buy Jamesthemormon’s Gospel Rap Album Instead Of Porn For A Day

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

LDS faithful across the nation, apparently and surprisingly willing to listen to something that isn’t Lemonade, paused their chosen pornography subscriptions for one day and flocked to iTunes to buy the new EP “I’m Not A Rapper” by Jamesthemormon. Whether…

Genealogists Conclude Woman Not Related To Anyone Famous Or Interesting

Genealogists Conclude Woman Not Related To Anyone Famous Or Interesting

Featured Posts | by JerLin Day

Faced with a grandchild’s school family history project for the third time in as many years, Muriel Hagen Jones hired two professional genealogists in a desperate attempt to identify a famous relative. In an interview Monday, just after opening the…

Darth Vader, Who Is Dead, Baptized

Darth Vader, Who Is Dead, Baptized

Featured Posts | by Snorri Sturluson

In a solemn ceremony performed at the Salt Lake City Temple on Monday, 12-year-old Kyle Whiteler was baptized by proxy for and on behalf of Anakin Skywalker, who is dead. “I feel good knowing that whatever sins he committed during…

Gary R. Herbert Unanimously Confirmed As Prophet, Seer And Governor

Gary R. Herbert Unanimously Confirmed As Prophet, Seer And Governor

Featured Posts | by Snorri Sturluson

His Seership—the divinely inspired gubernatorial voice of holiness, Gary Richard Herbert—was formerly sworn in as prophet, seer, and governor, with all members manifesting their approval. “All in favor please manifest it by the uplifted hand; all opposed please manifest it,”…

Fun And Inspiring Youth Speaker Actually A Total Wreck

Fun And Inspiring Youth Speaker Actually A Total Wreck

Featured Posts | by Tommy Cox

Utah youth speaker megastar Brad Blythe, famous for his delightful, funny, and spiritually motivating speeches to the youth of the Mormon Church, is reportedly in fact a total wreck. Numerous anecdotal reports have surfaced that indicate Blythe, underneath the impassioned…

The Show Must Go On

The Show Must Go On

In this exciting semi-augural episode of the Beehive Bugle Podcast we discuss the weather, missionary tactics, Tony Robbins, muff, apostolic selection practices, over-long songs, and anti-jokes. Click here to subscribe in iTunes

LDS Church Announces Temple Will Finally Be Built In Valley of 10,000 Temples

LDS Church Announces Temple Will Finally Be Built In Valley of 10,000 Temples

Featured Posts, Latest News, News | by Kristian Pylgrim

BURMA— Crowning the nation’s recent strides in faith and socioeconomic development, leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recently—and finally—announced plans for a new temple to be built in The Valley of 10,000 Temples in The Republic…

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