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Hipster Mormon Chomping At Bit To Do Prince’s Temple Work

As US Treasury Secretary Jack Lew prepares his announcement that a woman will replace imperialist dolt Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill, a local nonprofit, ‘NonProphet,’ is making a last-minute push for the late Gordon B. Hinckley’s wife to…

LDS Church Endorses Ted Cruz, Citing “Historic Dildo Policy”

Gov. Herbert Signs Bill Forcing Doctors To Ask A Fetus If They Prefer Breastfed Milk Or Formula

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Gov. Gary Herbert just signed a law that will require doctors to ignore best medical practice and ask a fetus whether they prefer breastfed milk or formula. This appears to be the second step—after mandating that women be given unnecessary…

Genealogists Conclude Woman Not Related To Anyone Famous Or Interesting

BusTED: Utahns For Cruz: “We’ve Loved Covered-Up Sex Scandals Since The 1830s”

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

Utah’s desired GOP nominee, Sen. Ted ‘the Zodiac Killer’ Cruz, nearly found himself in hot water when the National Enquirer released a story purporting evidence that he cheaTED on his wife with as many as five women. Most Utahn Cruz…

Lead-Enthusiast Sen. Mike Lee Pushes Re-Lead-ing of Gasoline

Salivating Utahns Urge Romney To Create New Beehive Party

Featured Posts | by Timothy McFoster

After former presidential nominee darling Mitt Romney addressed the state of the 2016 election, Utahns salivated on the prospect of Mitt Romney starting a new political party: The Beehive Party. “I agree with everything he said about that phony fraud…